Aly in Wonderland

The Fault in Our Stars

The Fault in Our Stars - John Green Ugh.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but I was terribly, disastrously disappointed. Incredibly, irrevocably disappointed.

I started this book off with the knowledge that I would probably cry. But you know what? I didn't cry.

Not. Once.

Sure, I felt a terrible sadness at the sad points of this book, but I didn't shed a tear. Not like I did when I read [b:Before I Die|1314332|Before I Die|Jenny Downham|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1348002855s/1314332.jpg|3128767] and not like I did when I read [b:My Sister's Keeper|10917|My Sister's Keeper|Jodi Picoult|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1369504683s/10917.jpg|1639903]. THOSE are books worth crying about. Books that MAKE you cry and you don't even realise it.

So anyway, I didn't cry at all. All I felt was annoyance, sadness and anger. Annoyance at the fact that Augustus Waters (stupid, stupid name) and Hazel spoke like super sophisticated, drink-tea-in-china-cups-only super old pensioners. Take this quote for example:

" I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasures of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."

Okay, yeah, it's beautiful. But NO sixteen/seventeen year old speaks like that. NO ONE. Not even the Royal Children speak like that, and they would have an excuse to. So although it's a lovely quote, I just laughed a bit. Because if Augustus had turned around and said, "I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you" it would have been a much nice, more believeable way of saying it.

Sadness at the fact that this books is about cancer, because cancer will always be a sad, sad subject. I don't think anyone has accomplished writing a happy book about cancer.

And anger. Anger at the characters that didn't have much depth at all, an adventure that seemed slightly wrought-out and boring and an ending that disappointed greatly.

Hazel, I kind of like. She's more realistic about everything. She doesn't hide the fact that she is going to die and she tries to get people to accept it which, by the way, is fair play to her.

But even she speaks like a sort-of-probable moron. In fact, here's a funny thing:

AUGUSTUS AND HAZEL SOUND EXACTLY THE SAME

In fact, when Augustus got introduced in the novel, my immediate thought was, "Oh, so he's, like, the man version of Hazel? That's not cool." And to be honest, it got very, very tedious.

To be even MORE honest, the only character I actually really, really liked was Van Houten.

And you know why?

He actually seemed real. He acted like a horrid person, who lost his daughter at the age of 8 to leukaemia, and although he spoke even funnier than Augustus and Hazel put together, it actually made sense for him to. It made sense for him to drink himself into oblivion, act like a total arse and generally be a recluse and hate humanity. I get him. I totally do and I love him for it.

And you want another reason why?

Because that's how I imagine John Green is. I imagine he DOES love himself, and the way he writes, and his books, and I 100% believe that he based Van Houten's character on himself.

I'm even willing to go as far as saying that he probably never responds to fan mail, never reads emails that aren't exclusively about work, and I'm even surer that, although he's an okay writer, he probably thinks he's a modernised version of Shakespeare.

So yeah, the book was okay. I'm disappointed. I'll probably end up reading it again and to be honest, I'm slightly disappointed that Augustus died and not Hazel, considering from the outset, Green made it clear she was going to die and honestly, I think he got too attached and decided to kill off Augustus to buy Hazel some time, but only succeeded in making the book more crappy.

Sorry, Green. I might be one of the few people who actually didn't enjoy this book.

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