Aly in Wonderland

Channel 20Something

Channel 20Something - Amy Patrick Reviews and more at The Beautiful World of Books!

**ARC provided by Netgalley**


OH LAWDY HELP THE ROMANCE GENRE.

For once, the book's problem had nothing to do with a psychotic male love interest. In fact, Channel 20Something's (I do not understand the title, I mean, really) biggest, irredeemable problem was Heidi, the MC.

I'm not a dating expert and never try to pass myself off as one, but there are guidelines to romance and life that people should follow. They're not only guidelines, but they're things one does in life so it goes as smoothly as possibly.

Heidi, our main character, is the biggest pain the in ass in the entire world. HOW she managed to hold down a boyfriend for four years is absolutely beyond me. Not only does she treat poor Hale like crap (more on that later) but she acts all high and mighty when people try to give her what she wants. She's a news reporter who is supposed to be good -- of course -- who is beautiful -- as if I even need to mention it -- and who could have the whole world at her feet if only she applied herself.

Or, as I see it, if she stopped being a stuck up stupid bitch.

Now, we all know I hate calling people names, but Heidi deserves it. Wanna know why?

1) She's been dating poor old Hale for four years. Hale is perfect and loving and really sweet and gives her everything she needs when, suddenly, Heidi decides they need to "go on a break". Sounds perfectly fine, right? Right, no. Because, you see, once a break lasts three months, you'd think it's time you break up with the guy. You'd think, "I'm not into him, so it's time for us to call it quits, before someone gets hurt." I mean, that's what a NORMAL person would do. Heidi? Oh, hell no...

2)HEIDI decides to start smooching her new work partner Aric, because priorities, huh? Who the fuck cares that she has a BOYFRIEND, THAT SHE'S ON A BREAK, THAT THIS GUY DESERVES SOME FUCKING CLOSURE, RIGHT? Not only that, but LIES REPEATEDLY to Aric when he asks her about it. And even better -- she gets pissed when Aric has a bitchfit because he catches her breaking up with Hale when she'd told him she'd already done it. And has an even BIGGER bitchfit when Aric tells her, "No. You're my girl and I do not want you going out to dinner with your ex who is still obviously head over heels for you. Stop being a bitch." (Not in those terms, but you get my drift).

3) Heidi's excuse for messing about with Hale for four years is so pathetic, so CHILDISH that it made me want to punch her stupid face. So Heidi is all self-righteous about her virginity and thinks, "Hell naw, I'm not going to have sex with anyone until the day I marry." It's a great view, I don't doubt it and I respect it, but what does she do? She sleeps with someone on her SECOND WEEK at university and THEN drops out when she realises he made a blog post about her. Nothing personal, just her ID picture and stats. It's not like he took naked pictures of her or anything. So yeah, she quits uni, goes back home and cries over herself for FOUR YEARS. She puts Hale through the biggest mess EVER because she's a selfish bitch that can't man the fuck up. She pulls all this crap on not only Hale, but Aric too and when Aric calls her out on it, she flips. That, ladies and gentlemen, is not healthy. She should be seeing a doctor, not trying to force Aric into sleeping with her.

4) If you don't love a guy, break up with him. It's simple as 1, 2, 3. You DON'T go on a break, then sleep with someone else and start a new relationship with that someone. IT'S NOT OKAY. Wanna know the good part? She cried when she told Aric that her ex-boyfriend cheated on her... whilst she's cheating on Hale with Aric. Seems completely legit.

5) You don't screw a nice guy around. It's bullshit that all men are the same, because whilst a big percentage of them are humungous penises, a lot of them are sweet and nice. Just because you've had a shitty experience, it doesn't mean you can act like a giant, walking turd and be horrible to nice guys. We're not talking about ONE nice guy here, but TWO. TWO.

There is so much bad in this book, I cannot find one redeeming point. At all. There is slut-shaming, stereotyping, lying, cheating, bitching, Heidi complains about her family, friends, her ex, her boyfriend, her life, her future. She's a big fucking mess, just like this book. It's one huge mess. I feel awful for anyone who is yet to read this because, Jesus, it's a nightmare. In fact, if you're holding a copy right now as you're reading this, I suggest you put it down and run away as fast as possible.

Now, I'm going to go flush this shit down the toilet.

And breathe.

ZERO FAT, DRIPPING STARS.

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