Just stay calm, Aly. Stay calm.
There is so much wrong
in this book that I can't fully comprehend how editors and the like didn't pick up on it, how Sugarscape
called this "The perfect escape into fantasy and a love that can break all boundaries."
Then again, it's Sugarscape
. I shouldn't be too surprised.
And yeah, the front cover does have "Falling in love should never be this dangerous..." on the front so really, it's my fault. What's the saying? "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"? Really, I'd been warned plenty. It's a shame, because I received this as a Christmas gift from my mum, and the premise sounded exactly like my cup of tea. Road trip gone wrong? Stranded in the woods? Survival? What's that? Men are keeping them hostage?!
Hand it right over!
But the second I cracked open this little gem, I was confronted with this:
They didn't want a free-spirited artist in the family. They wanted a daughter with a diploma from Stanford.
If they would just love her. Then she wouldn't wear tight, cheap dresses that infuriated her mother or throw her passion into causes that offended her father's egoism and stiff, aristocratic morals.
Do you know what I'm tired of? People thinking being an artist is "rebellious", that wearing tight dresses is "immoral" and "wrong", that every boy artist or music lover is a weed-smoker. This book is so full of stereotyping, I'm both shocked and offended.
And, of course, I'm tired of parents wanting the best for their children being called "suffocating" and "restricting." Let's be honest, parents who want the best for their children aren't awful at all. There are parents out there who really don't give a crap about their children, and that's sad.
Yet, in every single book I've read featuring rich kids, they're all represented as awful, unfeeling monsters. I don't deny that there are
OTT parents out there, but every single rich kid YA book really plays on that trope. It's sad.
Here's the real kicker: Black Ice is shelved under "fantasy" and "paranormal".
What? WHERE IS THE FANTASY? WHERE IS THE PARANORMAL?
OH, I get it. Fantasy because this would never happen in a million years and paranormal it goes beyond scientific understanding. That, I can deal with. It also makes sort of sense.This is the worst mystery/thriller I have ever read, ever.
This is a pathetic love story cleverly concealed as a mystery/thriller. This is the result of some girl's angry, pissed off thoughts about her boyfriend dumping her on prom night, and her not being able to deal with it. This is... I can't. I just can't.
Britt and Korbie are off on an adventure! They're going to spend Spring Break hiking forty miles across the Teton Range! Britt has been training the entire year in the hopes her ex-boyfriend tags along because he luuurves
hiking! Teen angst, yay! Sappy I'll-get-him-back plans, yay! How exciting! How RIVETING!
No, really though. From the first chapter, I knew Britt and I weren't going to get along. She's a daddy's girl who has never done anything for herself, always running to daddy, boyfriend and brother to help her out. She says a boy should quit his job just because he doesn't kneel down and kiss the ground she walks on. She despises the fact that her ex-boyfriend has moved on and, a year later, she's still pining after him. It's pathetic. It's ridiculous
how weak girls are portrayed in this book, and it's awful
to see how people react when they excel at something.
Oh no! Rain! Oh no! Snow! A blizzard!
Oh crap, the car has stalled! Now what? What's that up there? Oh, a cabin! Yay, Britt and Korbie are saved!
Wait! That guys is so mean for not letting them in. They should probably insult him. Yeah, bitch at them both, force your way in, and then wave your richness in their faces! That'll get them to help you, right? Britt, tell them all about
your "top of the line" mountain hiking equipment!
Le gasp! One of them has a gun!HE'S HOLDING THEM HOSTAGE!
Oh, come on. It's like these girls have never seen a goddamn horror film in their lives. This is exactly like every other cheap, B-Line horror
Oh! Korbie has been left behind in the cabin! Britt has to lead them to the highway! But everyone will freeze! One of them is really hot though. But there's not enough shelter! He's really
hot. What about food?! Hot damn, look at dem lips!
Another cabin! Britt, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Wait, you should probably sit around and then have a nice, wistful chat to the "hot" kidnapper about the mean kidnapper before venturing back.
Because, y'know, he's really hot.
The mean kidnapper has been shot! YAY! RUN AWAY, BRITT. Oh, okay, or you can just camp out with the hot kidnapper, make out with him for a while, use alcohol as an excuse. You know. Real clever. YOU GO GIRL.I'm so done.
So beyond done. The "plot twists"? Saw them from a mile away. How else was Britt going to clear her conscience about making out with the guy who assisted in her kidnapping? The "closure"-type ending? Yep. Knew that
was going to happen, too.
It's not cute. It's not sweet. It's not romantic. I'm only giving it an extra star because I'm a sucker for the lost-and-stranded-in-the-woods plot, but that's about it.